Why they wanna see my spine mommy?
Why they wanna see my spine?
It's gonna hurt again mommy
Much worse than last time
Am I gonna see God, mommy?
Am I gonna die?
It really hurts mommy!
Am I gonna die?
Never did the words of that song make sense to me so strongly as when I was lying in the bed at Cottage Hospital. Dean or Jean must have once been through the hell that is SM. Ok so sorry if you have no idea what I am talking about that you don't know the magical wonders of Ween...
It started last Monday around 3 in the afternoon. The cursed headache. I thought it was possibly the remnants of the beer that I drank the day before at my going away party, which was not a huge rager but did involve a fair amount of hooping and Tusker (Kenya's finest brew). I start pounding the water and drinking Neem tea, which is a local tea here pretty much good for any ailment you could think of, but to no avail. The headache grows worse and I grow desperate as I have a glass of wine, then another. I head to bed at 9 even though this is that last night I am in my house with my roomies and its supposed to be this wine guzzling girls night but I can't stand the pain, or the sounds, or the lights. I doze for a short time tossing and turning when I notice the cramping taking hold of my neck. Its about 1am when I get up and take half a vicodine. The pain gets worse, I have woken up my room-mates with the sound of my tears and my roomie from Cali, Kelly, who has a doctor dad asks me if my neck is stiff. Shit. Yes. Why? How did u know that? What do you know that I don't. She calls her dad. The other roomie Siobhan calls our friend in town who is a homiopathic dr. They all say go to the hospital right now. I don't have health insurance so my instant reaction is NO, I am fine...really. I am trying to convince them and myself. Siobhan rubs my head and I fall back asleep. They take turns coming in my room every hour for the rest of the night to make sure I am still alive. Apparently the fact that I made it to the next morning is something of a miracle. The morning finally comes and I am only getting worse...fast. So I agree to go to the clinic to get checked out.
Getting up, getting dressed and getting to the hospital was so intensely painful that by the time I got there they put me straight into the emergency room. The next couple of days are a blur of the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life, blood work, pills, and vomit. I start to feel like I will never be normal again, but I am trying so hard to be strong and breath and meditate on the darkness leaving my body and being replaced by light as I inhale. Despite all the pain meds they have me on the pain won't leave...imagine a migraine or the worst headache you have ever had in your life multiply it then make it last over 5 days. Hell. The pressure in my head was so intense I couldn't move my eyes in a direction...I literally had to turn my head to the door if I wanted to see who was coming in my room. I prayed, I cried, then I woke up Thursday morning and the pain was tolerable....I mean it was still horrible but sooo much better. To the point that I thought they were slipping morphine into my drip that they had me on. I ate for the first time in 3 days. I knew at that point I was going to make it. My body was finally starting to win.
Its been a hell of a long week but I have such amazing, loving, caring friends here and they took such good care of me. As well as the nurses at Cottage Hospital who put up with me, and wow I mean I can't image what I possible could have looked like to them I was probably such a bitch. And yes there was electricity and technology in the hospital, it was very clean, there are porcelain toilets, it is a pretty modern hospital (I have really been asked these questions).
I was released Friday, they didn't want to let me leave until today, Sunday, but I begged the doctor to let me go if I promised I would stay close and take it easy. I am now staying at a friends house close to the hospital so that I can go in for my shots of super strong antibiotics...which I finish tomorrow. I am feeling much better other than the spells of dizziness from time to time, but I know I am going to be ok. So my plan to run away to the beach for a couple weeks before leaving is shot...I imagine if this happened once I was already on that little beach island, Lamu....I am lucky for many reasons. I am thankful to my friends and family in Kenya and all over who were sending me love and prayers, I am thankful to Dr Butt (I swear I am not making this up) and the supporting staff at Cottage hospital. Keep the love coming while I am still healing please....
On a muuuuuuuch much muuuuuuch brighter note....like shining star brighter, I am going to Bali!!!! I am buying my plane ticket today and will be flying out of Nairobbery on the 11th. I will be spending some days on the beach then participating in a 6 day hoop dance workshop in Ubud the cultural hub of Bali, followed by a 5 day festival called the Bali Spirit fest. Workshops on yoga, dance, movement during the days with nights of music from all over the world!!!! I am ecstatic! I have been cuddling with the Bali guide book my friend lent me. I can't sleep I am so excited. I don't know how long I will be on the island but I do have a friend to meet in India in May and I have a job offer in Goa in June so I will probably be in Bali for 2 months but who know? Go where the wind takes me and hope to stay healthy and learn something along the way.... Until next time beautiful friends....ONE LUUUUUV!
